I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
