Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
