dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
