i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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