butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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