You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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