yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
