i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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