Me. At least after what I've been through.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
