Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
