we have officially lost it.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
