Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
