First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
