I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I didn't notice because vodka
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
