Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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