i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
