Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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