as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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