ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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