tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
