Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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