So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
