ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize