i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
