just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
