Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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