Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
