if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
