brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
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