I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You pole danced in your parka.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
