we're blogging at a bar
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize