I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
