I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
