Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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