Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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