What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
