look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I deserve this hangover.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
