You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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