how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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