I think I am morally bankrupt
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
