You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Randomize
