Are we in a gay sports bar?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
