Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
