Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
