yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
