She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
