You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
