There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
