I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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