i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
