I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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