i was born a porn star she said
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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