Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
