Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
