just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
