Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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