I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
