Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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