I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
