apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
