He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
