Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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