The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I think I just sharted jello shots
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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