I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
