College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
