Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I intend to get homeless drunk
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
